Is Sober Curious the new Sober?

I read a lot of different sober communities and something I’m seeing more and more is sober curious people. On the face of it, I thought it was simple, sober curious was just someone before they fully commit to sobriety, however from further reading, I’ve learnt that sober curious can mean different things to different people.

After lots of background reading, I still have questions, Are Sober Curious and Sober the same, what are the advantages and disadvantages of each, and will one ever replace the other?

The power of language

Language is a very powerful thing and the language we use to express who we are can be extremely empowering. I’ve always struggled with the word alcoholic, but I won't deny that I had a massive problematic relationship with alcohol, which caused suffering to my physical and emotional well-being. Some may think this is the same thing, but to me, they are very different.

Sober is not a term that resonates with everyone, and for some, the word sober can be associated with the word boring. This could not be further from the case. I wear my sober badge with pride, I’m not ashamed of who I am, however, I also recognise this does not work for all.

Alcohol is going out of fashion.

For the first time in a long time, young adults are drinking less than previous generations. This can only be a positive as the dangers of alcohol become more and more accepted. Sales of alcohol-free or low-alcohol alternatives are skyrocketing and are becoming more available in more and more bars and clubs.

Mindful and responsible drinking

In a world of social media, we are all trying to be more mindful and practise more self-care. Being sober curious is not a new concept but it is something that is taking off on social media, more people are falling out of love with alcohol earlier and allowing some to take control earlier, in some situations, people even continue to drink occasionally.

While this is acceptable to some, I know this is not a possibility for me. There is no such thing as mindful or responsible drinking for me. My reaction to one drink impairs my decision-making, I’ll have a second before it spirals from there. I’ve got the power to say no to one drink, but if I fail at that I know all power will be taken from me.

Stopping is not easy or fun.

Complete abstinence is the hardest thing that I’ve ever done but at the same time the most rewarding. Abstinence takes the thinking out of the equation, it is simple, I just don’t drink. There are times, however, when I feel like I’m missing out.

Triggers are difficult, they can happen when I least expect it. Over 3 years and I still find myself having to leave social events early to protect my sobriety.

If you are considering complete abstinence yourself, please speak to your doctor first as it can be dangerous to suddenly stop, if you have drunk for some time.

Sober curious is great for many.

Alcohol curious can mean different things to different people, it can be someone concerned about their drinking or someone moderating their drinking. This can only be a good thing. Reduction is amazing and the more awareness of the dangers of alcohol the better.

But there is a problem.

For some like me, who are already sober, it may give a belief that we can return to drinking in moderation. I would love to believe there was such a thing as full recovery, that even those who suffered from addiction, could return to an occasional drink, but I know this is not the case. Even if it was, the stakes are too high to be a gamble I’m ever willing to take.

I’ll continue to wear my sober badge with pride but if I meet sober curious people on my journey, then it will be great to have you along for the ride, whatever your story is.

If you have found this post useful or would like to reach out, feel free to contact me at info@itsthatsoberguy.com, on our social media channels or even better by joining our community using the link below.

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Ben – It's That Sober Guy

Disclaimer – I’m not a trained addiction or mental health professional, information is based on my life experiences and shared in good faith to help others.

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