Going alcohol-free at weddings and other major events.

I used to love going to weddings, and what is not to like, it was one of the only places where it is not just socially acceptable but encouraged to drink from the early hours of the morning. However now I’m alcohol-free, how do I maintain those connections without risking my journey, yet still having a good time?

What was worrying me?

3 years into my sobriety, I still wake up wanting to drink or feeling like I’m missing out if I can’t, often when I feel like this I will decide not to go to an event as staying alcohol-free is so important to me, however with certain major life events, you don’t have that choice, so for this wedding, I was going to have to come up with other coping strategies.

Being an introvert, my second worry was how would I be able to make connections with people whom I did not know that well. Previously I would have used alcohol as that social lubricant to engage with others. This would not be an option this time.

Deciding to drive

Whenever I go to an event that may involve alcohol, I always make sure I take the car, even if someone else could have given me a lift. This has two benefits, first, if things get tough, I can leave at any point, having this safety net is normally enough to ensure I’m ok. The second benefit is that if anyone does offer me a drink and I’m not comfortable discussing my sobriety, I can just say that I’m driving, and people then leave it.

Plan ahead

Whenever I go to an event of this nature, I know that my choice of drink may be limited. So, I try to think about a few choices of drinks before I go out, in this instance, it was 1) An alcohol-free beer or cider 2) a Mocktail 3) Coke a Cola. This way when I get to the bar, if they have not got my first choice, I don’t have to panic. I find it better to keep my drink in the bottle, as then if someone buys me a drink, I can double-check that it is the alcohol-free version. So, it turns out that at this wedding, they had Thatcher’s 0%, perfect!

Connection to strangers

I’ve never considered it before, but often at these big events such as weddings, many people won’t know each other. We sat at a table of strangers and started to make small talk, however, the first thing that got the conversation going was my alcohol-free cider as it turned out that another person at the table did not drink, we both ended up discussing our alcohol-free journeys and I found it very inspirational.

Perception vs reality

While in my mind, big events like weddings were about the drinking this is just not the case. Previously I found one or two other people drinking early and tagged on to them, now alcohol-free I did the opposite, avoiding these one or 2 people drinking heavily and focusing on building connections with those who were not, this meant that I met so many new people both young and old.

Alcohol does not cure anxiety.

Enjoying this wedding much more alcohol-free, I started to listen to people’s conversations more. I found it amazing how many people related that they were also anxious about coming to the wedding, these were both people who were drinking and those that were not. It was then that, I realised that lots of people suffer from anxiety, but it would only be the drinker that woke up with the beer fear the next morning, worried what they did or said.

Benefits of alcohol-free weddings

There are so many, I loved the whole occasion. I loved the fact that I met new people and built meaningful connections with them, I love that I was able to find inspiration from another non-drinker. I enjoyed the sweet table guilt-free, in the comfort of saving loads of calories being alcohol-free. I’m pleased that I left at a reasonable hour, meaning that I woke up the following morning, guilt-free, with fond memories of the day before.

Future events

I know there will be other events that I can’t get out of in the future, birthdays, Christmases and hopefully more weddings, I used to think that I liked weddings, but alcohol-free weddings I love!

I hope you too can enjoy any major events that you have coming up, and that you can use some of these tips to make the day a little easier.

If you want to reach out to discuss any event you have coming up, you can contact me at info@itsthatsoberguy.com, on our social media channels or by joining our exclusive community below.

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Ben – It's That Sober Guy

Disclaimer – I’m not a trained addiction or mental health professional, information is based on my own life experiences and shared in good faith to help others.

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