The British seaside holiday and how it triggered me.

One thing that helps me reset is going to the coast. I’m not sure why but being close to the sea, somehow helps me to reset my brain. Recently I had the chance to go always for the weekend with my wife. We could not have been more British as we tripled our supermarket vouchers and were able to book 2 nights in a hotel in Torquay for only £40 extra. However, my lack of preparation caused me to get triggered in ways that I’ve not felt for a while.

Lack of planning.

The trip was a last-minute thing as we both needed a breakaway, however, given more time, I think some of the things that tripped me up could have been avoided. We arrived at 2 pm and the reception to check in was in the bar, this should not have thrown me off, however, checking in I started to reflect that historically I would have been back into that bar as soon as I got my case upstairs.

The worst toilets possible.

Years of drinking have weakened my bladder and often when I’m out and about, I will need to go pee. The first morning in Torquay, we did some shopping. Caught short as usual. I tried to find a local toilet, but all the local ones were closed, so I had no choice but to pop into the local Wetherspoons. Now I don’t know why seeing people drinking at 10 am was so triggering, but this was the worst, there was a mix of young and old and for some reason I felt like I was missing out.

A meal is not complete without wine.

On the final night, we went out for a nice meal, it was a taster menu where you had several small courses, and I noticed while ordering that they had paired different dishes with a different type of wine and the implication was that you could not enjoy the food without the wine pairing. Now I did not enjoy wine even when I was drinking, and I would not have eaten food while drinking as it would take longer to get drunk, however, once again, I felt like I was missing out.

Time to take stock.

At the start of my sobriety this might have ruined the holiday for me, or worse than this even triggered me to drink, however 3 years into my sobriety, I’ve more in my toolkit, here are some of the things I did to overcome my triggers and have a great time away.

Coffee time

Rather than go to a bar we went to a local coffee house and enjoyed a lovely coffee overlooking the sea, we took our books as we were not in any rush to move on. The feel of the sun on my face and the light breeze, made me realise how lucky I was. Also, unlike alcohol where I would want more and more, I was content with the 1 coffee I had, saving me a fortune.

Get out early and get to bed early!

This was one of the best things to help me When going out to eat in the evening, I like to book an early table. Not only are the wait times for the food much shorter but there will be fewer drunk people as most are just starting their drinking.

Even better is getting to bed early, I had to chuckle at a few people complaining about how noising guests were going to their rooms at the end of the night, thinking “I would not know, I had been asleep for 2 hours by then.”

Breakfast

Here was the game changer for me, due to the early night, I was awake fresh and ready for breakfast, I can not count the times I overslept and missed breakfast while drinking. However, here I’m again, one of the first in the dining area. Even better than the great breakfast I enjoyed, I was also able to people-watch, the ones who are slightly green, trying to force some dry toast inside them. It was at this point; I could reflect on how much better the British seaside holiday is when sober!

To sum it up.

3 years into my sobriety, I’m still learning every day. I could have planned better to avoid some of these triggers, however then I would not have learnt how much more I enjoyed it sober, sometimes we must go through things to come out the other side stronger and this was an example of one of those times.

Ben – It's That Sober Guy

Disclaimer – I’m not a trained addiction or mental health professional, information is based on my own life experiences and shared in good faith to help others.

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