Sober Friendships

Getting sober was amazing, but it also gave me lots of challenges that I had never faced before. Part of this was around friendships, both keeping the ones I had and forming new ones. This is something that was a real struggle for me at the start of my sobriety, but I've learnt a few bits on my journey, and I hope some of this learning will be useful to you.

Bin the bad ones.

Often friendships will be formed around alcohol, this is not to say that all friendships that are formed around alcohol are bad ones, but there will be some that are not worth saving. People drift apart for all sorts of reasons not just because one friend has become sober, this is ok and part of life. Be grateful for the good times you have had together but don’t dwell if you are now different.

Hold on tight to the good ones.

One of the things that I've noticed in my sobriety is my friendship group is a lot smaller, however, the connection I have to the friends I do have is a lot greater. These friendships making it through to sobriety, are not based around alcohol, but something stronger. Take time and invest in these friendships, they are worth their weight in gold.

Find new friends.

As we get older, making new friends can be challenging for some, myself included. However, with the internet, there are lots of ways to now make friends that did not use to exist. Look for communities that excite you online, start with sober communities but move on to any other area that interests you.

Look to join a local club around any hobbies or interests that you have. Now that you are sober you will have so much more spare time, that you can look to take part in interests that you could not before. By doing this you will meet like-minded people whom you already have something in common with.

Don’t be scared to tell others about your sobriety, it is your story, and you don’t have to share it with anyone you don’t want to, however, you will be surprised how many people relate to it and how many new friendships are formed.

You are your own best friend.

Use your sobriety to learn more about yourself and grow comfortable on your own and in your head, often I would drink to escape my thoughts, however, since becoming sober I've had to embrace it. This may sound counterintuitive to make friends you need to spend more time alone, but by truly developing yourself, you will make stronger connections to others and any friendships formed will be stronger in the long run.

I hope using these few quick tips you too can build stronger connections to a network of a few close friends who mean the world to you.

Happy socialising.

Ben – It's That Sober Guy

Disclaimer – I'm not a trained addiction or mental health professional, information is based on my own life experiences and shared in good faith to help others.