Pushing myself out of my comfort zone in my sobriety and the benefits I’ve discovered doing so.

For years I thought that I was extroverted, I liked going out, I would chat with people I barely knew and at times I would put myself in situations where I was not comfortable. It was not until I become sober that I realised this could be further from the truth. I’m very much an introvert at heart. Often, I was putting myself in these situations to give me access to alcohol or more alcohol, however, take the alcohol away and I very much don’t want to be there.

Getting Sober was amazing, but at the start with I struggled with accepting that I’m quite a shy and quiet person. Here are some of the ways that I’ve pushed myself out of my comfort zone since becoming sober and why I would encourage other sober introverts to do the same.

Travelling to London

I joined several communities when I became sober, being based in Wiltshire, there are not many communities that are near me, so I joined one, part online and part face-to-face based in London.

I love this community and I’m still part of it now, however, I quickly made one of my goals to meet in person as I felt like I was missing out. This was a big deal for me as it would involve public transport and unknown places, both known things to set my anxiety off.

The first opportunity I had was to meet up at the Brighton alcohol-free festival. Unfortunately, a few days before the festival, I contracted Coronavirus and had to cancel, however, a few months later I had a second opportunity arise when it was the community’s birthday, and they were having a party to celebrate in London. What was even better was the party was on a Saturday afternoon, so ideal for me to be able to get there.

So, the big day came and off I went on the train, considering my fear of public transport all went rather well, apart from missing a connection, however, my anxiety had already helped by making sure, I had set off with enough time to miss 2 or 3 connections if need be. The feeling of getting off the tube and making my way through central London on my own was so exhilarating, it was so busy, something I was not used to, but this also gave me perspective and a sense of achievement.

I got to meet some nice people face-to-face that day and grow my relationships with them. I’m so pleased I did this, and this was only the beginning.

It’s That Sober Guy

While I’ve lovely the different communities that I’ve joined in my Sobriety, I often thought either some were not right for me or that I wished I was more involved. For this reason, I started my own.

It’s That Sober Guy is still a very new community, but I strongly believe in the power of change through helping others. Every time someone reaches out to me via the website or other social media channels, I feel very proud of what I’ve made and very privileged by the fact that the person has contacted me, often this will result in a conversation around both of our experiences. Even though this can be very informal, sometimes this is how the best connections are made.

IVF

This one is still quite difficult to talk about following our first failed IVF cycle. However, we are going to try again. I don’t know if we are going to be successful in this part of our journey, however, if you don’t try you will never know and for this reason, we are going for it! Even if we are not successful, I learnt so much about myself during the first cycle, that I’m sure the same will happen again. I realise they could be some extreme hurt, but I’m determined whatever life now throws at me, will only make me stronger!

Radio interview

This one blew my mind; I opened one of my emails and received an invitation to speak about It’s That Sober Guy on a local radio station. My initial thought was nope I can’t think of any worse than this, however being passionate about sobriety, the power of humans to help each other, and pushing myself out of my comfort zone I agreed.

I’m so proud that I did, Tim and Meridian FM were lovely, he put me at ease and gave me a heads-up about the questions he would be asking. The show was pre-recorded, so if I got into a muddle, we could start again. Luckily this was not needed.

Listening back on the radio was amazing, apart from the sound of my voice, but no one likes the sound of their voice. I’m sure if I did it again I would do even better, but considering all I was proud of what I’ve achieved.

Rory Gig

Finally, and this was a big one for me, I went to want I would describe as my first gig sober. I’m not even sure if I would say before this, I had even been to a gig, but this was certainly not something I would do without alcohol. I particularly wanted to go to this gig as a few of Rory’s songs had helped me in my recovery but none more than “Sober”.

Wow what an experience, I’ve never met a more diverse crowd of people, it made me realise how much of a sheltered life I’ve led. Everyone was so friendly, and I’ve never been in a crowd of people that I did not know, that made me feel so accepted.

The moment came when that song came on, and I danced like I’ve not done before sober or drunk, I had a little tear and reflected on how far I had come in my Sobriety.

I’m finally starting to realise the opportunities that I’m getting, not just through sobriety but also by pushing myself out of my comfort zone to do so. I hope reading this inspires you too, to push yourself out of your comfort zone and see what you discover.

#comfortzone #sober #ItsThatSoberGuy #Røry #ivf

Ben – It's That Sober Guy

Disclaimer – I’m not a trained addiction or mental health professional, information is based on my own life experiences and shared in good faith to help others.

Join Us