Living in a post covid world and how we have all lost the connection we need.

I want to start this post by saying that; I understand that the impacts of covid on some will have forever been life-changing, loved ones lost, jobs and incomes slashed, and relationships damaged beyond repair. I’m lucky and blessed that the impacts on my life in comparison to this are minor, however, the effects of the pandemic still hit me now and most weeks it is not unusual for me to think about this topic a lot.

One thing I’m still experiencing is a lack of connection to others. I decided to explore this further, to see if others feel the same.

Lockdown helped my sobriety.

I gave up alcohol approximately 6 weeks before the first lockdown. This was not following a big blow-up but more extended periods of being low in mood due to drinking. My first intention was only to give myself a few months stop-gap and then reassess from there, however by the time that reassessment came we were in a full-blown lockdown.

I’m in no doubt that at times the lockdown made sobriety easier for me, I was not interacting with my drinking buddies, social events were not happening, and I can even remember being ready to buy alcohol and all the supermarkets being sold out. The lockdown helped me cement my sobriety before things started to become more normal again.

Friendship groups.

This is a big one for me, I think as we all get older our friendship groups get smaller, I also think as you become sober your friendship groups do change even if we may not realise it at first. Some friendships that were formed around alcohol are just not the same when the alcohol is removed.

For me, the lockdowns had a massive impact on me losing connection with friends and not being able to form new ones. This has left me on the other side of the lockdowns feeling isolated in my sobriety. This is one of the main reasons I set up It’s That Sober Guy.

Support groups and other clubs.

The country had to very quickly adapt and lots of clubs and groups moved online. For many they had to do this or face the prospect of not surviving, online is great, so great in fact that many of these groups no longer exist in a person-to-person format. When it comes to connection, I know I need a balance of both, online and offline. Many of the clubs that I was part of before covid folded and the ones that remained the membership changed by the time groups resumed. This left me feeling disconnected from my existing groups and knowing that I needed to find new ones.

Working from home.

I work in a role which is partly based in the community and partly in an office, I was classed as a keyworker, so my role continued but the office part moved to home working. Before the pandemic, I saw working from home as a benefit and it has now become normal, worse is that my workday intrudes on my home life much more and often it feels like I’m always on the clock, starting early and working late.

Now the office is back open, I’ve returned, however, it has changed a lot, I find myself interacting with a much smaller group of colleagues and teams work much more in silos, this does leave me feeling isolated at times and again lacking connection.

Delayed triggers.

This has been the hardest one for me, lots of the challenges, that not drinking brings did not happen until much later in my sobriety. I did not tell one of my closest friends until over a year. Some of my friends still do not know now.

I found it hard when lockdowns ended and people celebrated with alcohol, I felt like I was missing out and that was hard, I did however, realise my sobriety was more important to me than any celebration. Over 3 years into my sobriety and I am still facing challenges some would have overcome in their first year.

The new normal?

I hate this saying a lot! Life is never consistent so what is normal is always changing, also there is nothing normal about feeling isolated and lacking connection which is what the pandemic has left me feeling. I still know that I’m very blessed compared to others but cannot help but feel like the effects of the pandemic will be long-lasting on both me and my sobriety.

There are many great communities out there and I’ve been taking my time finding new ones and creating my own. If you would like to join us, you can do so by clicking the link below. If you want to connect you can email us at info@itsthatsoberguy.com or on our social channels. I look forward to hearing from you and if the pandemic is still influencing your sobriety.

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Ben – It's That Sober Guy

Disclaimer – I’m not a trained addiction or mental health professional, information is based on my own life experiences and shared in good faith to help others.

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