Family – The 5 types of family members, that I have met during my sobriety.

Before I start this article, I want to say that I am incredibly lucky to have family around me and I am grateful for that, this article is supposed to be slightly tongue in cheek, however, I am sure that you have meet some of these family members in your sobriety too.

So, without further ado, here are the 5 family members that I have met in my sobriety:

The one who does not quite get it – Lots of my family members fall into this category, I am sure some of yours do too. Something that was recently said to me by someone who I love dearly was “but surely you can have Bucks Fizz, there is hardly any alcohol in it.” When I politely explained that there was more alcohol in Bucks Fizz, than the lager I used to get hammered on, at family occasions they said, “yeah probably best not then.” Slow but kind re-education of these family members can be helpful, but if it is just something they don’t get, that is ok too.

The one trying to sabotage you – This was the person, I used to find the hardest to deal with. “Oh, I forgot you do not drink,” "It was just easier to buy all the same,” “surely one will not hurt,” are all things said to me by family members. I now find this person a lot easier to deal with, as I have realised that often, this person is the third type of family member, but they have not realised it themselves yet. No thank you, is the strongest three words you have with this person.

The one who is concerned about their drinking – This is one of my favourite types of family member. Often the conversation will start round the reasons why I stopped drinking but will end with things like “I wish I could drink less” or “I think I might try dry January this year.” I am very careful how I deal with this person; I could talk about the joys off sobriety all day long, however, often I will keep these first conversations brief, recommending a book or website, I have found particularly helpful to me. I then make sure when I see them next time, I ask what they thought about the recommended material. Normally a journey starts from there.

The one who loudly supports you – This is a great family member to have, however it can cause challenges at times. Often this person, will bring conversations back to you not drinking, even if it is not an issue for you, or others around you. This person, however, has their heart in the right place, if things get to tough, I will have a quiet word, however most of the time, I am just grateful for their support.

The one who quietly supports you – This person is the keeper, this is the person who quietly, keeps your glass topped up with soft drink, or has a quiet word to check in that you are doing ok. If you can, spend as much time with this person as possible, they are amazing, make sure you tell them.

I am sure that you too, have met a few of these family members, on your sober journey. Please feel free to comment if any of these family members resonate with you or add any other types in the comments.

I wish you all the success and happiness in your sobriety.

Ben – It's That Sober Guy

Disclaimer – I am not a trained addiction or mental health professional, information is based on my own life experiences and shared in good faith to help others.

#sober #sobriety #soberlife #family