Changing the equation - kick starting my sobriety.

I thought for many years that I’d never get sober. Why would I? I’d have to MISS OUT on time with my friends, I’d NO LONGER enjoy birthdays and Friday nights after work would be BORING, I’d have nothing to do. I knew I needed to give up drinking, but at the same time I didn’t want to because of all the things I thought I’d miss out on.

What finally changed for me, was my thinking, rather than looking for negatives, I began to consider the positives of becoming sober. Within the first few weeks of my sobriety, these were my positives which have kept me going.

Money....

Some people like to count their days sober. For me, I found it much more useful to count the money that I’ve saved. I base this on a very conservate estimate of what I used to spend on alcohol, however to date, I’ve saved over £9000! Do I have this money sat in my bank account, no, of cause not. That said, I had to buy a new car recently, nothing special, a second hand run around, but for the first time ever I could do this with money in the bank and not having to borrow. This would have never been possible whilst I was drinking, and it felt good!

No more hangovers....

It’s amazing how many people drink and think that they don’t get hangovers, me included. It wasn’t until I stopped drinking that I started to feel awake in the mornings and began realising how much more you could achieved not spending half the day in bed feeling rough. My favourite time of day now is between 5.30-7am, walking the dog and watching the sun come up knowing my day is already underway is the best feeling.

So much more time....

It never fails to astound me, the amount of time I spent physically drinking. As a beer drinker, I’d have to drink for 3 to 4 hours an evening before I was content. Drinking took all my attention; I’d do nothing else but sit and consume as many cans as I could. Now my evenings are my own and I love it.

Going for meals with old drinking buddies...

Since giving up drinking, I don’t mind being in the pub, as I love going out for meals with friends, even knowing that they will drink; because when the bill comes, I know mine will be half of what theirs is because I’m not drinking. It really is amazing the amount of money you save by not drinking. So, I’ve no issues ordering the most expensive item on the menu, knowing that my bill is still going to be less than others at the end of the night.

Meeting new sober friends....

This has been a big one for me and part of the reason I set up ‘It's That Sober Guy’. Now, I’m not glorifying drinking at all, but people who have been drinkers, but have embraced a sober lifestyle, are the funniest, most interesting, likeable people I’ve had the opportunity to meet. The stories that I hear within the sober community never fail to amaze me.

These are just a few of the POSITIVE’s I’ve experienced becoming sober. Who doesn’t want MORE money, BETTER connections with friends, EXTRA time every day. Bigger than any of these positives though, was the change of language in my own head.

Please don’t get me wrong, there are times when I do get triggered and those negative feelings come flooding back. However, by changing the language I use in my own head, these negative feelings are becoming much less frequent.

I hope by finding your positives and changing the negative language in your head, you too can make your sobriety that little bit easier.

Ben – It's That Sober Guy

Disclaimer – I’m not a trained addiction or mental health professional, information is based on my own life experiences and shared in good faith to help others.